Eli Stone

A Review by Michael Asimow, Professor of Law Emeritus, UCLA School of Law

In the ABC television series that bears his name, Eli Stone is a senior associate at a large San Francisco law firm. He appears to be a competent attorney and, until recently, was highly valued by the firm. He’s engaged to Taylor Weathersbee, the daughter of the senior partner. Taylor is also a lawyer at the firm. Recently, however, Stone has learned he has a brain aneurysm and his behavior has become highly erratic. He frequently has scary delusions at work, such as being drawn into WW II battles or being attacked by small planes. His acupuncturist hasn’t figured out how to cure the delusions but thinks Stone is in fact a prophet.

OK, that’s the premise. How’s the execution? In my personal opinion, the show is horrendous. The writing is clunky, the jokes aren’t funny, and the acting is terrible. Taylor looks more like a Barbie doll than a human being. I don’t believe anybody will care about Eli Taylor and his aneurysm, or any of the other characters, so the show fails to create the necessary empathy between viewers and characters. The delusion jokes (he dives under the conference table during a partners’ meeting to avoid being attacked) weren’t funny the first time around and are excruciating each time they’re repeated. (For balance, I do think the role of Eli’s secretary Patti is well written and acted, and quite funny).

I believe “Eli Stone” was inspired by the highly successful “Ally McBeal” series. If you liked Ally, you just might like “Eli Stone” because of the fantasy delusion scenes and the heavy use of contemporary music. But if you disliked “Ally McBeal” as I did, you’ll hate “Eli Stone”—both the character and the series—which has none of the winning characters, excellent acting, or overall quirkiness of the “Ally” series.

Now there’s the question of accuracy. Nobody expects a TV series or a movie about lawyers to be accurate. Pop culture is intended to entertain, amuse, and make money. The work of real lawyers is indescribably boring almost all of the time and nobody wants to see a TV show that accurately describes it. Sometimes entertainment has to trump accuracy. But there are limits. And this show transgresses them.

In the first episode, Eli switches sides in the middle of a product liability case when he realizes that the plaintiff is an old girlfriend. He represents her against his own firm, freely using the information he learned from representing the defense, and obviously without seeking the permission of the pharmaceutical company he’s been representing. The writers liked that gimmick so much they repeat it in the third show in which Eli suddenly starts representing the mother in a child custody case in which Taylor represents the father. Of course, everyone accepts these conflicts without blinking. Now if the writers asked Eli Stone to fly to the moon on gossamer wings while investigating a case, most people would say, hey, that’s really stupid. Lawyers don’t do that. And these conflicts of interest in the first and third episodes are in that category. They are so beyond anything imaginable that they are just plain stupid. And that’s without counting the second episode in which a workers’ comp case is tried to a jury.

I like lawyer pop culture, and wish I could find something favorable to say about “Eli Stone”—the show or the character—but I just can’t. I t seems pretty obvious to me that this show won’t find an audience and will vanish unmourned into that vast rubbish bin of failed and forgotten TV series. But then, I said the same thing about “Ally McBeal,” so what do I know?

Eli Stone

Several entertainment critics have already reviewed Eli Stone, ABC's new legal drama, and find it either "quirky" and original, or run of the mill, or truly awful. I vote for truly awful, for a number of reasons.

Eli Stone is an associate at a white shoe firm in San Francisco, rapidly on the way up, engaged to the boss's daughter. Everything looks great. Then he starts seeing and hearing things, and his life falls apart. In an attempt to keep control, he refuses to tell his managing partner about the problem, which turns out to be an inoperable brain aneurysm (his brother, the doctor, gives the diagnosis. If I had been the patient, much as I love and trust my brother, I would have gone for a second opinion. And then a third). The condition causes hallucinations that make it nearly impossible for him to work, causing all sorts of havoc for him and his clients, and ultimately the firm. While we are, I suppose, supposed to find his visions meaningful--he certainly does--I would be profoundly disturbed to discover that MY attorney was having visions. And I would certainly be unhappy to discover that he hadn't told his firm, and that he was continuing to practice.

First, what seems at first glance to be original about the show has actually been tried, with more success by others, including David E. Kelley. Eli, the lead character, hears voices and music (mostly George Michael's) and sees people and events that aren't there. Remember David E. Kelley's Ally McBeal? She heard and saw things that weren't there. Remember the character of Billy, Ally's old love? He suffered from a brain tumor. Remember John Cage? He loved Barry White. Put them all together and you have Eli's situation. Others have also tried the dramedy musical before Eli Stone, without much success (remember Stephen Bochco's Cop Rock?)

Eli's discovery of his brain aneurysm puts him in a quandary--how long does he have to live? He decides to re-evaluate his life. So far, so good--but the idea that the main character should re-evaluate his life and his beliefs is hardly new. Even the notion that a lawyer, a corporate lawyer (the ultimate symbol of the bad actor, and I mean that figuratively, not literally), should do so in the face of physical stress is hardly new. Think only of the film Regarding Henry.

So many of the supporting characters are cliches. The pretty girlfriend lawyer, even though she seems to be quite nice, is a standard--and she actually dumps him in an early episode when she discovers he's ill. Nasty. The flaky female first year associate is a cliche. When is Hollywood going to forego giving us a choice between capable female lawyers who cannot commit to both relationships and successful careers or idiot female lawyers, by the way? The smart-aleck but capable black female secretary (Loretta Devine, who is wasted in the role) is overdone. The Chinese acupuncturist who isn't really all that Chinese (educated at UC Berkeley and with a fake accent, solely for the cultural tourists)--overdone, and insulting. Even Eli's family is a cliche. He has a brother, who is a physician, and who indulges in his own conflicts of interests (and lies) by certifying Eli as fit for work. Oh dear.

Eli's aneurysm is the McGuffin that sends him out on his intellectual and emotional makeover. After a talk with Dr. Chin, the acupuncurist, he "discovers" that he might be a prophet, singled out to bring hope to the people by taking on the important cases, the ones that matter to the little people. During the discussion he objects that he doesn't believe in God, and Dr. Chin responds, "Sure you do--you believe in right and wrong," in other words, in the natural world, and in people, and in justice. Finally--something vaguely original. By this I mean the outing of Eli. He's a non-believer. Non-believers are not exactly thick on the ground on television these days, and haven't ever been easy to find. I think the last one was Ted Danson's Becker. Of course, the idea is that atheism ultimately is bad, since it's linked with corporate greed. This is something the writers should work on, but probably will not. Equating atheism, and corporate lawyering, and White Shoe law firms, is a cheap shot. Over and over, we get the message from these writers that only spirituality can save Eli, or indeed, anyone, from evil (read "lawyering"). One must believe in something, else one is Bad.

The scripts only get worse. As he gets religion, and discovers he's a prophet, Eli switches sides and represents the downtrodden, regardless of the fact that he's usually conflicted out of such representation. He manages--magically--to win these cases, proving, I suppose, that with right, and the right dose of goodness, on your side, you can win against the bad guys. This may be the message that the viewing audience wants to see and hear these days. It is by no means accurate, and it gives the impression that the "right thinking" lawyer who hear choirs singing but fails to understand the Model Rules does his client a big favor. Eli, whose ongoing conversion should show him the way, does nothing but lie about his health and his motives--to his supervisor, to his girlfriend, to his clients, and to himself. In this week's episode, he's being reported to the disciplinary commission, and none too soon.

I would have thought that this dreadful series would have been cancelled after the second week, but it's still on. I think it's because of the underlying message of religion and redemption. This show is not really about reclaiming the law. It's about reclaiming life. For people who need that message, Eli Stone should serve nicely. For the rest of us, it's back to Boston Legal, and maybe, Shark.